Astonished...

Bootcamp last night was brutal as expected. In the middle of it I got really light headed felt a bit like I was going to either pass out or vomit everywhere, thankfully after I took a breather and blew my nose  I did neither of those things! ... when you can only breathe through 25% of your nose it is more difficult. But the work that I have been doing to improve my squats and lunges is showing! Kevin was impressed. That felt good.
Now for the even better news....

I hit 95 pounds lost when I weighed in last night!!!!!

I almost cried I was so happy.  Then, I don't know what possessed me, but I agreed to come in for an extra class at 7am this morning....
I woke up at 5 am and was in the gym by 6:00am. ugh. I drudged through my cardio and by the time I got started with my leg work, I was actually feeling good! Class got started at 7 and I ROCKED it. I felt really really good about the work that I did. I felt strong. Man, that is a good feeling.

So this is me... 95 pounds lighter... wow. 

Seriously, wow. 

I really did not think I was capable of this when I started. But now I know it. I feel it in my bones. I am going to do this. I am going to follow this through. I have changed for good. I am capable of reaching the goals that I set for myself. I can do this. For the first time in a VERY long time I am really proud of myself.

Now if I can just get my subconscious to hold on to this feeling and play this tape over and over instead of the self-doubting tape...