Some days all the food in the world isn't enough.
Some days housework is just that.
Some days meditation is just silence.
Some days two hours of exercise feels like a drop in the ocean.
Some days feeding your body is just the beginning.
Some days just having all the tools doesn't mean you can build anything.
Today I am home. I could be working on numerous projects. I am on my second cup of tea, but feel like I need a nap. The dogs and I have been for a two mile walk. I have watched an episode of Desperate Housewives while using the stationary bike. I have done dishes.
My house is full of things used to create stuff. Cameras, paint, computers, decoupage glue, recording equipment, microphones, pots, and pans. There are days (like today) when I feel as though they are simply for decoration. I know how to use them. I've done it before. I've created my own little masterpieces. Today they suddenly seem alien to me. I don't know how they work. I have forgotten what they do, or why they do it, rather. We are all wasting space together, waiting for lightning to strike.
Some days all I do is not binge eat.
I spend all day fighting to not fill my gut or stuff myself into silence. So I gather healthy, sensible ingredients. I combine some herbs, frozen steamfresh veggies, shred some leftover lemon pepper chicken breast, organic chopped tomatoes, kashi rice pilaf, corn, lentils, black beans... They all meet in a pot. The pot gets hot. It will stay like this for some time. It will make a soup. It will be placed next to the stuff in the fridge which is newer than the stuff in the freezer. It seems as though I am always in some transition between stocking up and pairing down.
Some days there are just tomorrows.
Some days there is only hoping that tomorrows are better than todays.
