Saturday, June 16, 2012

Sharing a little something from Jillian Michaels

Jillian Michaels
 Diet Tip: Most sugar substitutes are just as evil as sugar itself. Do you really think your body knows how to handle something that was man-made? Seriously. These chemically-adjusted products do not occur in the wild; there are no sucralose trees in warmer climates, nor are there saccharin plants on the plains of the Serengeti. In some instances, taking in sugar substitutes may actually increase your levels of hunger! Avoid anything in a blue, yellow, or pink packet. Try xylitol or a stevia product like Truvia for a low calorie sugar substitutes that’s safe. And at the end of the day if you use a packet of sugar it’s only 14 calories. With sugar, moderation is key. 

Sugar is by far my biggest demon. I cannot think of a time when I truly controlled my sugar cravings. I used to dream about hot fudge sundaes... I really believe that this is going to be the hardest beast for me to tame. I just want to feel like someday there can be cookies or brownies or ice cream in the house for more than 2 days without me obsessing over finding a way to devour them when no one is home.

Here is another gem....

Jillian Michaels
Here's a simple, silly, and yet extremely effective tip to keep you from over indulging. Sometimes when we are dieting our bodies go through periods of insatiable hunger. You know that feeling when no matter what you eat you are still hungry? It can be really frustrating. Try a fiber supplement like psyillium husk capsules. When you take these with a bunch of water the psyillium expands in your tummy helping to literally fill you up and curb appetite. Plus, it’s calorie free and helps to clear you out. Literally.
Jun 1, 2012  -  Public

Very interesting...

My life has become unmanageable...

I have been lost. completely. I have spent the last year spiraling out of control. Burying myself in work and predictably- in food.
I have gained all of the weight I lost and then some. I have numbed myself with food over and over again and I have settled into a really heavy depression. In my adult life I cannot think of a time that I have been this unhappy... but I got to a point that I just accepted that this was my life. I was just fat. That's all. But I am a rock star at work and I have a partner who loves me. So that's enough. And that excuses the fact that I am not healthy...and getting unhealthier by the day.

My partner Jessica's best friend- Kiaha came back into her life and my life as well after being in and out. She struggled with Alcohol but was getting help. We talked for hours many nights with her about how her life became unmanageable and how she went to AA and found that she was powerless. She talked about working through resentments and letting go of her failures and shortcomings. We have watched her completely change her life over the last 7 months.

Tonight we went to hear her speak to a large group and tell her story. It was the first time I had been to an AA meeting and as I don't have a problem with alcohol I was not anticipating feeling anything personal... but I was wrong. Kiaha talked about life before AA... She talked about telling herself and other people that she didn't have a problem while she was drinking everyday. She talked about the feelings of hopelessness and desperation. I was so proud of her for sharing her story...but more than that it shook me to my core. It scared the crap out of me. A lot of what I heard tonight shook me. 
We left and I broke down in the car. I was crying and talking to Jessica about how a lot of what I heard struck a cord with me. I was so embarrassed...Shame is a very big part of what has gotten me to this point... I have been sneaking food in the middle of the night for as long as I can remember. I eat when no one is around and hide the evidence. I eat when I am sad I eat when I am happy. I eat when I am bored. I eat when I am feeling something and I don't want to feel. I eat to fill a void. I eat to hide. But what has that gotten me?

So... Now it's 7am and I have been up all night reading. I downloaded the Kindle version of Overeaters Anonymous and the twelve step program. I'm thinking about going to a meeting... I am really scared.