Saturday, July 3, 2010

On backsliding, junk food binging, finding what works and clawing my way back...

Well, I got a bit lost there for a while....but I am back!!!
I backslid.
I started a new job where I am completely sedentary trapped in a cubicle and on top of that I am working very odd and unpredictable hours. It has made a LOT of things a whole lot more difficult. Its harder to plan and schedule meals. It's harder to make it to the gym. It's harder to sleep. It's harder to have time with my family. It's just been a very rough adjustment period. so with all of that going on and working against me, the fat kid inside of me took hold. It all started with that freaking vending machine in the break room... I hate that vending machine. One night I was only supposed to work 6 hours and ended up staying 12. I had not planned on having to eat at work so I didn't bring anything. Kroger was already closed and so were both restaurants nearby. I was stuck there with literally nothing to eat. So I went to the vending machine and feeling like I was starving, all logic went out the window. I'm sure you know how this story is going to go... then the next day when I came in the vending machine was staring me down and I let myself have a little treat, just a little something. And on and on and on... ugh. The vending machine led to Mcdondalds which led to Chik-filet which led to Burger King and before I knew it I found myself checking out at the grocery store buying two bags of doritos and a package of Oreos... So I have gained 10 pounds in a month. DAMNIT. That sucks. Definitely not the direction I want to be headed in.
But I had made great progess until I lost control... When I went back to michigan to visit I got SO many great responses to how I looked... and more importantly, I took up much less space.  I found myself in odd situations where I was reminded that I am a smaller person. I take up less space now. I fit into a round booth at a restaurant! I slid gracefully (ish) around the bend without sucking in for my life or painfully squeezing my gut against the table edge. I ate lunch comfortably without my stomach resting on the table awkwardly. It felt amazing. When I got on the plane, I sat next to someone! I still needed an extender, but JUST BARELY. We sat next to each other and he did not have to lean waaay out in the aisle and I didn't have to hold myself awkwardly to one side, Leaning into the hole for the window to give him more room.
So now I am pushing myself back on the track. I was talking to someone at the gym about how frustrated I am that bootcamp was really working for me and now I can't go with my new schedule and finding time to get to the gym is harder and she suggested I try p90x. I laughed at her. That is for people who are already fitness nuts and want to get ripped. She said she does it on days when her husband has the car and she can't get to the gym for bootcamp. She said she just modifies or substitutes things that are too hard with the things she already has learned and can do from our bootcamp class. She offered to burn me a copy and I thought, what the heck I will give it a shot. I dont have anything to loose, I guess. So I tried it.
Let me tell you, I am in LOVE!!!
I am two weeks into Phase 1 and it is fantastic! The explosive plyometrics (ie Jumping) is just not in my realm of possibility right now, but thats ok, I just do an extra day of the cardio x or the core synergy. I'm just modifying what doesn't really work for me and substituting in the stuff that does. I'm basically getting the more hardcore intensity that I was craving from my old routine and I am getting it for me. AT HOME! So I have decided to put my gym membership on hold for a while. I'll save some money. I have something that is working. And after this I want to try Insanity. It's along the same lines as p90x and it'll give me some variety. I feel good about it. and I am sweating my ASS OFF!!! I love it.
I let the frustration of not being able to have my old schedule and habits anymore just break me down. I didn't realize just how much I relied on them until I lost them. But now I feel like I am back on track. That is SUCH a great feeling.

Here's a fun little thing....
Here is a picture of me and my best friend from October
And here is a picture of us from May
He has been loosing weight also and looks FANTASTIC!
Can't wait to see the difference in another 6 months....

18 comments:

  1. YAY good for you. Boo for the gain, but hey, it is tough to adjust. Normal (ie skinny) people do the same thing it just isn't as much as we do it. So keep on keepin' on. Try the 30 DAy Shred with Jillian Michaels too if you are wanting variety, its circuit training. And only $9 on iTunes lol

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  2. you can really see how slim you are getting especially in the face you look so much happier too

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  3. You've made awesome progress! I've backlid lately too - and I don't have anything to blame it on! Keep up the hard work - you ARE an inspiration!

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  4. It's good to see you posting again and I am glad that you are back and track and happy to be there. You will get rid of those ten pounds in no time.

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  5. I gained 3 lbs a few weeks ago, then lost 1.5. I am thinking I maybe gaining this week because I've been eating ice-cream and haven't been exercising. You just have to keep plunging forward. I know what you mean about the cubicle, it would drive you nuts especially if you don't have a window. I became a follower today. Hope we can give each other inspiration. If you have time, you can visit me at my weight loss blog at Everyday Life's Issues

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  6. Missed you!

    You are my inspiration- so glad you are posting again!

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  7. Welcome to P90X! I am two weeks away from completing my 90 days and it has changed my life. You're gonna love how you feel :-)

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  8. You know, my friends were all just talking about this on Saturday. It makes me really curious to try it now that I know you like it (and are able to do it! I say that because I thought it was kind of a boys only thing) so I think I might need to try it out!

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  9. Tovah, It is definitely not a boys only thing. I would definitely suggest trying out Power 90 first. You can find it on Amazon for like 20 or 30. It is like an intro to a lot of the moves that p90x builds on. The thing about it is that there are things that I just cant do yet. ie: Pull ups and a lot of the explosive moves or jumping moves. But the instructor I had for my bootcamp classes was really big on showing me modifications to make things work for me. I did 4 months of that class and would definitely not be ready for p90x without that!!

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  10. I cannot tell you guys how much it means to me getting all your feedback and support! Thank you SO much!!!!

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  11. hi. I notice your journey. :D. you can do it.! Good luck and God Bless

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  12. You're doing a great job! Keep up the hard work, we all have moments but we keep moving forward! Great job.

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  13. You are making such amazing progress, Ok I have about 125+ pounds to lose, and I was thinking OMG I cant do this I cant do this! I started a blog and have been, probably on the obsessive side reading others including yours, and people are sneezing at 125+ pounds, people are losing much more, so blogs like yours inspire me, and null out my excuse of impossibility, thank you so much for your story!

    xox
    Mrs.Crumpet

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  14. I have only recently discovered these blogs of people like yourself who are losing weight while inspiring others. It's amazing and I'm finding that blogging is forcing some self-accountability for me because I am too afraid of public failure to give up now. I am so happy for you and I wish you all the very best.

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  15. In visiting your blog, I'd have to say "You go!!" I'm just starting to blog--please let me know how I'm doing :-) Love for you to come visit!

    amomentwithkelly.blogspot.com

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  16. You rock girl!!!!!!!!congarts!!!!!u are so beautiful!!!


    www.haroulitasdesign.etsy.com

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  17. I've just discovered your blog and I'm so glad I did. This whole post is great but it's this line in particular that just hit me: "so with all of that going on and working against me, the fat kid inside of me took hold"!!! I am holding on to that thought and I'm going to hold it up like a mirror the next time I feel my inner fat kid clawing her way to the front of my mind! :-)

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  18. You go girl! I saw your blog and I just had to congratulate you! You look absolutely fantastic!
    Well done and keep up the good work!

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