On backsliding, junk food binging, finding what works and clawing my way back...

Well, I got a bit lost there for a while....but I am back!!!
I backslid.
I started a new job where I am completely sedentary trapped in a cubicle and on top of that I am working very odd and unpredictable hours. It has made a LOT of things a whole lot more difficult. Its harder to plan and schedule meals. It's harder to make it to the gym. It's harder to sleep. It's harder to have time with my family. It's just been a very rough adjustment period. so with all of that going on and working against me, the fat kid inside of me took hold. It all started with that freaking vending machine in the break room... I hate that vending machine. One night I was only supposed to work 6 hours and ended up staying 12. I had not planned on having to eat at work so I didn't bring anything. Kroger was already closed and so were both restaurants nearby. I was stuck there with literally nothing to eat. So I went to the vending machine and feeling like I was starving, all logic went out the window. I'm sure you know how this story is going to go... then the next day when I came in the vending machine was staring me down and I let myself have a little treat, just a little something. And on and on and on... ugh. The vending machine led to Mcdondalds which led to Chik-filet which led to Burger King and before I knew it I found myself checking out at the grocery store buying two bags of doritos and a package of Oreos... So I have gained 10 pounds in a month. DAMNIT. That sucks. Definitely not the direction I want to be headed in.
But I had made great progess until I lost control... When I went back to michigan to visit I got SO many great responses to how I looked... and more importantly, I took up much less space.  I found myself in odd situations where I was reminded that I am a smaller person. I take up less space now. I fit into a round booth at a restaurant! I slid gracefully (ish) around the bend without sucking in for my life or painfully squeezing my gut against the table edge. I ate lunch comfortably without my stomach resting on the table awkwardly. It felt amazing. When I got on the plane, I sat next to someone! I still needed an extender, but JUST BARELY. We sat next to each other and he did not have to lean waaay out in the aisle and I didn't have to hold myself awkwardly to one side, Leaning into the hole for the window to give him more room.
So now I am pushing myself back on the track. I was talking to someone at the gym about how frustrated I am that bootcamp was really working for me and now I can't go with my new schedule and finding time to get to the gym is harder and she suggested I try p90x. I laughed at her. That is for people who are already fitness nuts and want to get ripped. She said she does it on days when her husband has the car and she can't get to the gym for bootcamp. She said she just modifies or substitutes things that are too hard with the things she already has learned and can do from our bootcamp class. She offered to burn me a copy and I thought, what the heck I will give it a shot. I dont have anything to loose, I guess. So I tried it.
Let me tell you, I am in LOVE!!!
I am two weeks into Phase 1 and it is fantastic! The explosive plyometrics (ie Jumping) is just not in my realm of possibility right now, but thats ok, I just do an extra day of the cardio x or the core synergy. I'm just modifying what doesn't really work for me and substituting in the stuff that does. I'm basically getting the more hardcore intensity that I was craving from my old routine and I am getting it for me. AT HOME! So I have decided to put my gym membership on hold for a while. I'll save some money. I have something that is working. And after this I want to try Insanity. It's along the same lines as p90x and it'll give me some variety. I feel good about it. and I am sweating my ASS OFF!!! I love it.
I let the frustration of not being able to have my old schedule and habits anymore just break me down. I didn't realize just how much I relied on them until I lost them. But now I feel like I am back on track. That is SUCH a great feeling.

Here's a fun little thing....
Here is a picture of me and my best friend from October

And here is a picture of us from May

He has been loosing weight also and looks FANTASTIC!
Can't wait to see the difference in another 6 months....