Monday, April 26, 2010

TMI Alert: The small stall...

This post might be TMI for Non-Fatty's, but for those of us who know what its like to be big sized in a small sized world- "fitting in" has a much different meaning.
Public Bathrooms...
They have a whole host of issues surrounding them for both thin and chubby people, but for me they have always been a source of frustration and embarrassment. I always, and I do mean always, use the handicap stall. Always. I need to room.
Here's the TMI part... I haven't been able to use the small stalls in years. I had to turn sideways and suck in my gut to close the door. And then I didn't have enough room to do what I had to do... Like I said, TMI.
Well, yesterday we went to see a movie and I had to use the restroom. I walked in and the Handicap stall was occupied, but I HAD to pee! So I went to the small stall on the end and just walked in and closed the door. No sucking in, no turning sideways. No problems. Then I did my business and got out.
I know its an odd moment to celebrate, but I will take any cause for celebration I can get lately.
I slipped. I stopped journaling my food. I hadn't logged into in almost a month. I just started slacking and then it got away from me completely. Then not journaling led to forgetting to eat breakfast before work and then last week I got to the gym for my workout and realized that I had not eaten breakfast OR lunch. Reality check time. I have got to get back on schedule. Journaling reminds me to eat. Journaling reminds me to pay attention. I gotta get back in control.
I decided to try something new. I bought some Boost with protein for those mornings when I am just running behind. Some days I just cant get it together. Maybe that will keep me on track.

The workouts are still going well. Still love the gym. But I am craving something more. I watch a lot of the Biggest Loser and I am jealous. My favorite moments on the show are when someone hits a wall during a workout and they think they cannot go any further and Jillian gets in their face and pushes them beyond what they think they are capable of. I want that kind of intensity. I want someone to push me further than I think I can go. I want someone to yell at me. I want someone to get me out of my comfort zone. I love my bootcamp class, don't get me wrong. It kicks my butt and it works me out and it gets the job done, but it doesn't shake me. It doesn't make me uncomfortable. It doesn't push me past my limit. I don't know if I am craving adrenaline or just testing my limits...but I want to shake up my routine.
Has anyone tried kettlebells?

I've been doing some research and I found a place in ATL that has a class...but it's pricey. I am fascinated by the things I have read and heard about kettlebell training. I have heard that it is great for shaking up your body and burning some serious fat. hmm...
I'm also toying with the idea of taking another bikram yoga (hot yoga) class but at a different studio this time. I need more sweating and burning and less chanting and talking. The class I took was a lot of "find your center and look through your third eye". I am not trying to find my third eye, I am trying to find myself under all this fat!!!! lol

I'm not very new age, I'm afraid. All the granola eating, hairy armpitted, all organic, patchouli wearing, vegan yoga instructors at the studio I went to just made me feel COMPLETELY out of place and square. I dont think I am cool enough for yoga... I dont know.
I guess at this point I'm open to suggestions if anyone has any for shaking up my routine. I do a pretty intense 45 minute bootcamp class on tuesdays and thursdays after my one hour workout on my own and then I do a two hour workout on mondays, wednesdays and sometimes fridays. Its a lot, but I have been at it for 5 months now.


  1. I just found your blog yesterday, I've read a half dozen posts back, its really good!

    Congrats on what you've done so far, one helluva accomplishment. The stuff you mentioned about "the biggest loser" and "boot camp" is something I've had some recent experience with. I wanted someone to kick my ass while exersizing, and get me moving. I spent way too much money and joined a biggest loser competition at my local community center, and ended up bieng a total dissapointment. A bunch of people just wanting to putz around and socialize instead of lose weight. What you (and I) need is going to be very hard to get without a TV camera or a paid personal trainer.

  2. If you want to change it up a little try either a kickboxing class or a total body workout class and when you get there go right to the front row. Being in the front row right in front of the instructor and in front of the whole class tends to force you to work a little harder and you often get more instruction than if you were in the back of the class. If you are too shy to do that with a new class then try it with your boot camp class. It might surprise you how much harder you work when everyone is watching. (I got that from a Weight Watchers magazine, but it really works.) :)

  3. The Bathroom thing? Yea, I'm right there with you. I hate the ones where the toilet paper dispenser jabs into your legs! Way to fit in the normal ones! It's the little things that bring the most satisfaction. I'm proud of you girl :-)

  4. Just found your blog, you're doing great! I'm just starting my journey. I am with you on the yoga thing. I love it, but I could care less about the ritual part. I've tried several DVD's and most were to relax...I relax enough as it is. I need a workout! heh Anyways keep up the great work!

  5. I just found your blog! I've read back a little and wanted to let you know I think you're doing a wonderful job!

    I've had the same problem in public bathrooms....I've actually broken a toilet or two in my even at work, so I feel your pain. Isn't it a wonderful feeling to be able to do something that thin people take for granted?

  6. Hi! Just came upon your blog and have been reading. Congrats to you for your weight loss so far!

  7. I also just came across your blog and i am SOOOOO with you on the stall thing!! Coming from 385 pounds, honey you know i know!! Ive lost some weight but ya know what. I STILL need to use the handicap stall and i think i forever will!! I have horrible pictures in my brain of butt wedged between toilet paper dispenser and other wall,, of not bieng able to close the door, of not bieng able to get a good angle to whipe LOL..ut o,, ive crossed the tmi line!!

    anyways,I work out with a personal trainer, who fell in love with helping me during a biggest loser challenge the gym was having. I work with a LOT of weights.. Have you tried weight training? Or hunting around for a personal trainer?? They can be expensive but if you find one that LOVES what they do, most times your workouts will be complete and even free, callenging and enjoyable. I look foreward to following you. Keep up the good work!!

  8. You're so cool. :)

  9. girlfried -- you are looking great. i hear that circuit training at boxing places (there is one main one in ATL, but i can't remember the name) is fabulous. haven't tried it yet, but you basically rotate through all of these activities for 3 minutes each and it totally kicks your ass. good luck!

  10. Congrats so far - oh my goodness, what a dramatic transformation! You should be so proud of yourself!

    Honestly, the best suggestion I can make for "shaking up your routine" is to find yourself a good personal trainer - it has quite literally revolutionized my life. They can be pricey, but it's worth every penny. Not only do you get the expertise of someone who can customize workouts to keep you challenged and interested, you get a solid and reliable support person.

    Best of luck on your journey, and good for you for taking charge of your life!

  11. Congrats! Celebrating milestones like that are a reminder of how far we've come. You should be proud! Keep it up!

  12. YYYEEESSSSS!!!!!!
    Celebrate them all... all the little things that mean nothing to anyone else but mean the world to you... Like the day i was able to cross my legs... I didn't want to ever stand again. I get it girl... You are amazing..
    Keep it up friend!!! Great Job.

  13. Just found your blog! I totally understand your bathroom comments. Especially when trying to insert a tampon... Def. TMI LOL. Congrats on your weight loss so far! I am blogging through losing over a 100 pounds. I've broken it down into 25lb segments. I reached my first 25lbs this week!

  14. I could relate to your TMI ... yes, that's exactly how it is, and I too would find fitting nicely into a single stall very encouraging. Way to go!

  15. Just found your blog...very impressive! If you are interested in kettlebell workouts, check out A friend of mine did their workouts and dropped like 40 lbs in 6 weeks. Oh and the wbsite is free :) Just a thought, good luck!