Thursday, February 25, 2010

The boot list. (Cause sometimes you need a swift kick to get moving)

When I loose the weight I will...

be healthy and fit

fit in booths at restaurants

be able to ride on a roller coaster

go to the beach and not be too embarrassed to wear a bathing suit or have to wear layers to cover the rolls.

feel sexy
no longer dread trying on clothes

no longer make excuses to avoid activities that would make me uncomfortable because of my size

be completely self-confident and not fake it

fit comfortably in an airplane seat

be able to walk into ANY clothing store and fit in normal size clothes. Goodbye Lane Bryant! No more "plus" "womens" "extended" or "baby elephant" sizes!

wear feminine, daring, fitted clothing instead of frumpy hoodies, t-shirts and jeans all the time

wear dresses

wear sexy heels without wobbling... You can't balance a watermelon on two toothpicks!

look hot in lingerie

have better SEX! =)

have no more excuses for not going after my dreams...

be able to walk up steps without huffing and puffing and getting red in the face

have more stamina

be able to run a mile

feel healthy, strong, and energetic

fit in vehicles more comfortably

fit in seat-belts more comfortably. No more whipering to the airline attendant "can I have an extender please?" while everyone stares at you like you are a zoo animal.

identify as something other than a "big girl"

be an active person, have an active life.

be able to paint my toenails with more ease

have more room in the bath tub... maybe enough room for two?!?

not feel like everyone is staring at me when I'm in public

not feel embarrassed of my size
not feel like a odd or different... or less than someone who is fit

live and enjoy life to the fullest and not feel like I am just existing or faking it
like the reflection in the mirror... the whole refelection. Not just from the shoulders up.

wear sleeveless shirts

wear shorts

wear above-the-knee skirts

be less inhibited... in every area of my life

go on a long bike ride

not have a belly in the way... of everything

be able to cross my legs

be more flexible

not be hot when everyone else is cool

take pictures of my whole self and not just my face

not feel achey when I get out of bed in the morning

not have cankles. You know calf-ankles no seperation between the two.

know what it's like to be thin and fit

enjoy being thin and fit

feel desirable

feel sexy

not have floors creak when I walk on them

fit through turnstiles without turning sideways

have more room in the shower

roller skate

not be embarrassed to go to the doctor's office

not be embarrassed by the number on the scale

have the normal sized blood pressure cuff actually fit my arm

my thighs will NO LONGER rub together when I walk

not be the fattest person everywhere I go

be able to throw away all of my "fat clothes"

go on a shopping spree and get a whole new wardrobe

not have to worry if a blouse is long enough to cover my hips, butt, and stomach

not avoid getting my picture taken because I hate how fat my face and body looks

be judged for who I am, not for how much I weigh

not be perceived as a fat, lazy slob

see my muscles and my real shape... not mounds of fat

be able to feel my bones

not feel inferior because of my weight

not "hide"

not have to pull and stretch my clothes out before I wear them

not have to wear a girdle, waist cincher, spanx, or a corset

not have to walk sideways down the aisle of airplanes

be able to walk through narrow aisles of department stores and specialty shops and not have to turn sideways
fit into seats at any movie or theater

not feel compelled to lie about how much I weigh

fit comfortably in any chair with or without arms

not feel compelled to cover my lap with a blanket or pillow any time I'm sitting on a couch in order to hide my fat stomach

not be embarrassed of my fat calves when wearing capris
not have to wear an extender chain on short necklaces or bracelets

not hate my body and what I have done to it

not be depressed because of my weight

be in control of my life, habits, eating, body... not the other way around


  1. You are really inspiring!! If I were to write a list it would have the same things you have listed.
    A change is not gonna happen until we have had enough & once we have had enough, we start to take control of our lives and strive towards change and change we're in the process of doing now. Keep it up!!! I was feeling down a little earlier but I'm glad I came across your blog.

  2. Thank you thank you!! I totally agree with you, I just read something that Bill from the Biggest Loser posted on facebook to the same effect- Once you decide that you WILL loose the weight you will do it. When you decide that to you will TRY to loose the weight, you will not. You just have to decide you are ready.
    The funny thing is that I did not realize all the things that the weight has effected or held me back from until I started on this journey. I never really paid it much attention because I honestly never thought it could ever change. ever.

  3. Kayla,

    You are an inspiration to us all! I applaud your change of heart and body.

    I am cheering for you... GO GIRL GO !!!

  4. You are so insanely brave. (You always have been.) I love this list and it's inspired me to make a long list of my own for when I want to eat way more than I should or skip out on exercising. It doesn't matter what size you are, healthy habits are hard to develop. I'm so proud of you for sticking to it!

    Oh, I thought I'd mention though... walking sideways in aisles? I have to most of the time as well, so you may never get out of that one... :)

  5. Dear sweet Tovah-
    Thank you so much. I try to be brave, but I think for a long time I just faked it... It feels different now. Like I am actually aware of the moment while I am in it for the first time.
    YOU have to walk sideways through aisles? no way. Well, I suppose I could live with that one if I could wear normal people sizes! lol