Thursday, February 25, 2010

Atonement for my sins... *warning* kinda icky

 Well... I am allowed one cheat day a week to treat myself. On Sunday all I could think about was Arbys curly fries. Thats all I wanted. So it was my cheat day, I went to Arbys. Did I still make good choices? Did I keep it in a reasonable portion? Nope. I ate a LARGE curly fry and a Roast Beef and Cheddar. I wish I could tell you that I did not enjoy it while I ate it, but that would be a lie. It tasted great. Afterwards I felt tired and sluggish. I went to sleep with heartburn and plans to SERIOUSLY workout with my trainer at 8 am but didn't think much of it otherwise.
Well I woke up at 4am feeling less than ok. I rushed to the bathroom and threw up. Violently. I'm not talking about a dainty little sick, I'm talking about projectile, wretching, doubled over, exorcist-style VOMIT. It was awful.
I thought ok, too much grease... thats fine. I will just take a shower and drink some water and I will be ok.
Wrong. I threw up again IN THE SHOWER! Thats when I first thought that I was in trouble. I got out of the shower and laid on the couch for a while...well, maybe an hour or so and then ran to the bathroom again...
Ugh. I felt AWFUL. Cold. Clammy. Weak. Green.
But I thought I could push through it enough to get through my workout that morning. The ride to the gym made me question myself. Every bump made my stomach lurch. I made it to the gym and Kevin noticed right away that I was not in good shape. I managed to make it through about ten minutes before I was running for the bathroom. So there I am, in the bathroom at the gym wretching again. But this time there is nothing left in my stomach but grease. I am not kidding you, I was throwing up grease and the water I drank while working out for a whopping ten minutes. Definitely not my proudest moment.
So I dragged my way through the SLOWEST pace I have ever had on the elliptical for another ten minutes and then I just packed it in.
So then I spent my whole off day that I had so been looking forward to running from the couch to the bathroom. super. I took the next day off of work and bootcamp class because I still couldn't really keep anything down.
Yesterday was my first day back to normal. I got in a good solid workout and I am looking forward to class tonight.
I talked to Kevin about what I ate and he said my body was probably just rejecting it. I did a bunch of research online and that seems to be the concensous. After not eating anything fried since November 1st and then gorging on a large deep fried mess... I felt so dumb. But I have GOT to look at the bright side. I think this is solidifying in my head that
I can NEVER go back.
 Even if my head would let me, my body will not. So that is something to think about. Those old habits can creep up on you... When I think about what I used to eat in a day... I can't believe it. All that grease. All that fat. All those preservatives and phosphates and nitrates and fillers in fast food. All the damage I did to my body and never thought twice about it... 100 pounds lost and a LOT of lessons learned, I know that I am changed.

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