But, I was having some trouble really wrapping my head around it the other day. 75 pounds sounds like so much in my head, it seems like I should look so different, but when I look in the mirror I still look like me. I am still wearing the same clothes. Obviously I can feel the difference in those clothes...everything hangs on me now. All of my pants look very saggy and baggy. So I decided I needed to do a little experiment. Almost all of my shirts are stretchy. When I was at my largest I ALWAYS washed all of my clothes in cold so that they would stay stretched out. Before I put on any shirt I would always stretch it out. Everything had ripped seams at the bottom from stretching it. I dont think I have ever worn a t-shirt in my adult life that was not stretched to the max first. (sidebar: I cannot wait for the day that I can just pick up a shirt and put it on with no stretching....) Well, I have one shirt that I bought to go on an interview about a year and a half ago. It is a wrap-around shirt with NO stretch. It buttons on both sides and then ties together on the sides. When I tried to wear it to that interview there was NO way that it was going to button, so I just tied it together in the middle because it was too tight when I tried to tie it on the side. Well, I put that shirt on and I buttoned both buttons with ease and tied it tightly on the side and looked in the mirror...astounded. So then I was feeling brave and went to the back corner of my closet and pulled out a pair of jeans I have never worn. They were given to me for christmas two years ago. They are adorable size 28 Old Navy flare leg jeans. The problem was that my legs were too big to fit. I had to order the wide leg trouser jeans bc of my thighs and calves. And also, these jeans are a tall which is always a bit more snug in the waist. So there they have sat in the back of my closet for two years. I pulled them out and looked at them and mustered my bravery. I pulled them over my legs with NO PROBLEM! Then I pulled them up and zipped them with ease. No sucking it in, no laying on the bed, no holding my breath. wow. That felt GOOD. I was pouring myself into tight wide leg 32's just four months ago.
So I took some pictures! Dont mind the bad quality... and my bad hair day... and no makeup... lol!
So then I was at work on Sunday and someone made a comment about how baggy my sweatshirt has gotten. I am always running in and outside all day so I wear a lot of hooded sweatshirts. They are comfortable and they keep me warm. And lets be honest, they hide my shape. I shrugged it off and just said that yes, my sweatshirts are getting a bit baggy and didnt think too much of it. Later on I was in the bathroom upstairs that has a huge mirror and I really looked at myself. It felt good to notice. So again, I took some pictures!
So it feels good to remind myself that I am making progress!!
On another note, my fantastic fiance, Jessica is sick. She has felt like crap for a week and when I woke up yesterday I just groaned. I felt like I had been hit my a truck. I was sluggish and tired all day. I was hoping that the gym and bootcamp class would help. WRONG. I had my arms wrapped around the elliptical holding on and dragging myself through 40 minutes of cardio. Then bootcamp class was really rough. I just had no steam! I was pushing so hard and was so frustrated I had a moment when I really thought I was going to cry. It was terrible. But at the end of class Kevin told me not to beat myself up- that my lunges are getting better. I am bending both knees and getting deeper into them and my core work was much better this week. That felt good. Then I came home and curled up on the couch. This morning, again I feel wretched. I could happily go back to sleep for another 12 hours... Its gonna be a long day. But the old me would have blown off class last night bc I had an excuse. I was sick, jeez. But I didn't I stuck it out and put in good work. That feels good. But I did make a decision, I am going to take tonight off of the gym and go One day this weekend instead. I think I just need to sleep this off so I can go into class Thursday more focused and not want to cry!
One step at a time...
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