I took a trip home to Michigan for birthday and when I saw pictures of myself I was horrified... I have always been a self proclaimed "big girl" and proud of it. to quote myself... "I am a fierce, foul mouthed, sexy, glitter-loving, laughter encouraging, vodka martini drinking, great smile sharing, karaoke queen with big tits, big hair and an even bigger personality! I take up space, and I laugh too loudly. I am a big girl and I think my curves are tremendously hot -- fuck fascist beauty standards!"
Yeah beauty standards in this country are skewed and unrealistic... but unhealthy is a much different thing. I am not healthy. My back hurts when I walk for more than just to and from the car. Even grocery shopping I lean on the cart. My heartburn and indigestion are out of control. I am sick and tired of falling asleep on the couch every night.
I went to visit a friend last month and their apartment is on the Fourth floor. I was out of breath...heart POUNDING...visibly sweating... I was a mess! I was miserable. It was only four flights of stairs. Scary Scary stuff.
This has gone too far...
So it's time for a change.